Understand that getting over any bad habit of excess is a journey that should be taken one step at a time. Don’t rush to try and achieve overnight success. By taking it slow, you’ll be able to connect with a good partner and figure out ways to create a good life for both you and the partner. Things you don’t see now, like cutting the wine on weekend mornings or having an occasional beer with dinner at a sports bar, can lead to success eventually. Many partners are understanding of this — and often open to a little compromise if the goal is to change a bad habit for a good one.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with controlled and managed indulgence, for instance, what serious damage can a session on a 5 min deposit casino do to someone who can manage a much larger gambling indulgence in moderation?
If the partner can’t accept your changes, it won’t work. A good partner sees what you’re trying to do and is willing to listen to the challenges you’re facing. A bad partner doesn’t care, and simply thinks you’re out of control and need to act more like a man.
Prepare to be blamed
There are two big reasons that you may have trouble breaking a bad habit. First, you may blame yourself for not controlling your consumption, which is a destructive way to think. You may also blame your partner for not giving you good reasons not to do something that he or she could handle. These thoughts are not healthy, and are a barrier to lasting change.
Get some therapy to get past these negative thoughts before you try to change the habit. No one wants to hear that you’re going to get blamed for losing weight or failing to get good grades. These should be things that you can control, not something you blame yourself for.
Set a time for resolution
Getting back on track to a good life can be difficult, so make it as easy as possible for yourself.
First, identify your bad habit and make a goal to stop the habit for the upcoming week, month or year. That is the most effective time frame that is flexible. A resolution can be hard to remember, and unless it’s set up in a tangible way, it may not stick.
Second, assign yourself a time for making resolution. You will need this reminder to stay on track if you’re determined to get off the bad habit. A good partner will understand the need for setting a resolution and the need to stick to it.
Third, create a resolution calendar to remind yourself of the process of achieving the goal. You should create a calendar that can be viewed at any time, and you should use the calendar to note progress or setbacks in a positive way, not as an excuse to fail.
Fourth, don’t let the bad habit interfere with your good life. A habit like smoking is often connected to other aspects of the relationship. A partner may be angry because of your smoking habit when he or she should be angry with you for the stress you’re causing them. If a smoking habit is interfering with your ability to have fun, form a good life with a good partner that will stand behind you.
Be open and tell the truth
Catching a bad habit is tough, and many partners simply leave you to figure things out on your own. A good partner will respect you and your efforts, and can help you to figure out a solution to your bad habit by getting an objective view and helping you out of a bad situation.